My Suggestion For The Camera-Shy Critic Who Came At Me Inside Pie Hole: Go File A Butthurt Report!

by Travis Mateer

After a long day of slamming Dandelion root tea to dissolve the kidney stone I thought was an appendicitis, some asshole I’ve apparently written about, but didn’t recognize, decided 10:30 at night in a pizza shop was the place to tell me I deserve I had everything I had coming to me.

Here’s the brief footage I finally took when I got tired of this asshole and his clear refusal to file a butthurt report on himself, which I suggested he do if he had a problem.

The most notable part of this clip isn’t how quickly this critic walks away, it’s how his commitment to avoiding the lens of the camera requires leaving his lady friend lagging behind. If I get another chance to meet this critic, I’ll ask him to introduce me to his lady friend.

This obnoxious interaction highlights my need, for security purposes, to have a better system for documenting my movements in this town as I play this game of Smashy Road that is my life.

If you’d like to contribute to my fund for new tires and an ER bill, Travis’ Impact Fund (TIF) could really use a donation.

Thanks for reading!

On Teaching Missoula PD An Important Lesson

by Travis Mateer

Demonstrating an absurd interpretation of “harm reduction” was fun while it lasted, but once again my belongings have been removed. I guess the old world of private property persists, and if anyone tries to breach the new particle-board defenses of the former Missoulian building, they will have police officers like Amanda Hardin to deal with.

Why am I calling out Office Hardin specifically? Well, yesterday one of my little birds chirped some information to me that I hope is NOT accurate because I like Office Hardin, and if it’s true she told a downtown business owner that I’m a schizophrenic (I am not), then we have a VERY BIG problem.

In the world we currently inhabit, things like HIPPA that exist to secure someone’s “protected health information”, but law enforcement is actually ABOVE this restraint, as I learned while writing this post.

Now, this would only apply to ACCURATE medical information, like if I REALLY had a diagnosis of schizophrenia, which I do not. If Officer Hardin wants to talk to someone who once employed me in the difficult job of working WITH people who have serous mental health problems, I suggest she chat with Eran Pehan, the director of community planning and development and former director of the Poverello Center.

So, what’s the lesson I’m hoping to teach Missoula PD about this situation? The lesson is a simple one, and it’s derived from Newton’s third law, which states for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. What does this mean? It means that because Officer Hardin felt it necessary to discuss my mental health status, I now feel that it’s necessary to discuss a curious conversation I had recently with one of Officer Hardin’s peers, Detective Guy Baker.

The text message exchange I had with Detective Baker will be published here, at Zoom Chron, on May 31st, the same day the Jeannette Rankin Peace Center is having their peace party, and the Roxy is showing Donnie Darko. This is also my last night of enjoying conventional housing in Missoula.

Some lucky people in Missoula have ALREADY seen this exchange, people like Missoulian reporter, David Erickson, City Council person, Daniel Carlino, and County Commissioner, Juanita Vero, but at the end of this month EVERYONE gets to see what Detective Baker thinks of my methodology.

May 31st should be quite an evening in Missoula, so I hope my hand-puppet friends are ready! To help my mobile spectacle prepare for a momentous night, you can donate TODAY to Travis’ Impact Fund (TIF). Any little bit helps.

Thanks for reading!