I’m Sorry I Didn’t Catch The Covid

by Travis Mateer

Last Wednesday one of my kids tested positive. He had been feeling cruddy since the previous Sunday, so I made some calls.

I wasn’t interested in getting him a PCR test, especially when the person I spoke with had no idea what the cycle threshold meant. I opted for rapid testing at a walk-in clinic instead.

It didn’t take long, and the nurse who administered the swab was nice enough, though she asked me if my kid gets the flu shot. Why is this question being asked? Are they trying to gauge my potential hesitancy?

With the positive test confirmed it was clear what had to happen. The kid was going to wear FIVE masks and we would seal him in his room, only feeding him protein bars that could fit beneath his door.

Just kidding, we didn’t do anything special to sequester him from the rest of the family because we are very stupid people who like to live dangerously.

So, how quickly did this virulent illness spread amongst our family? Did we, the unvaxxed parents, get deathly ill and add to the hospital surge? Remember, our illuminated braintrust is trying to COUNT people like me because of this bullshit:

While Missoula County leads Montana in vaccination rates at around 63% of the eligible population, nearly 40% remain unvaccinated, and local officials are trying to do the math to determine the future costs they’ll possibly incur as unvaccinated individuals get sick.

Well, I’m sorry to report to the Covidians that neither my wife, nor myself, got sick. We are annoyed about cancelling weekend plans, and not happy that our two other kids can’t go to school until 9-18, but other than that, we’re doing just fine.

Keeping my other two kids out of school until 9-18 is the real kicker, but thankfully my family is a financially privileged, two-parent household. How are less privileged families dealing with these ridiculous quarantines?

Helping families deal with this insanity is not a big priority for our illuminated braintrust, especially if they are operating on the faulty assumption that THE UNVAXXED are the biggest threat to our “health” care system.

A threat described like this:

With a population of more than 110,000 people and 40% of it still unvaccinated, tens of thousands remain at risk of contracting Covid. A percent of them will require hospitalization, and some of them will die.

This is such disingenuous crap. Do you know who else is at risk of contracting Covid? People who are vaccinated. Yes, even stupid people like me realize the efficacy of the jab was NEVER about stopping transmission, but reducing the severity of symptoms.

How’s that working for you, vaxxers? Are you excited for the never-ending booster shots? Is it fun being a guinea pigs for Big Pharma?

Don’t worry, haters, there’s still a chance I could get sick and die. And if I do, please, dance upon my grave.

Because life is too precious to waste it living in fear.

Thanks for reading.