By JC
Having been intrigued by another blogger’s new found life’s calling examining the seeming early deaths of so many of our “talented” comedians, musicians, actors and politicians, I thought I’d try my hand at the craft. But never did I think I’d come across this: said blogger has all along been nothing more than a “deceased” comedic actor hiding in plain site! Yes, you heard that right. Mark Tokarski is John Candy!
John Candy died a very mysterious death in Durango, Mexico. While he was working on the movie Wagons West! it was reported that he died of an apparent heart attack. Adding to the mystery was the fact that right before he died he sold his interest in the Toronto Argonauts, worth millions. So he had plenty of money with which to assume a new identity and leave his life as a failing actor before he became a footnote in the annals of Hollywood.
An official autopsy was never performed, and circumstances were setup to implicate that John had a heart attack. But it seems that he tipped off some people that he was going to disappear in Mexico, and his “funeral” was attended by many of his comedian friends, and Dan Akroyd — his business partner — gave the eulogy. No doubt Dan and John Candy’s other friends had the last laugh at a private get together after the sham funeral. And John Candy would be 65 this year, apparently about the same age as Mark!
Using the incredible techniques developed by Mark Tokarski at Pieceofmindful.com, I discovered that John Candy and Mark bear an incredible likeness. I adjusted the pictures so that the pupils were equidistant, and superimposed on the other, and just as Mark has said, facial features lining up are a unique event — one in millions. Well, obviously John Candy died and replaced Mark Tokarski in 1994. What happened to the original Mark is not known at this time, but I will keep investigating to see where he turned up. Maybe he has a twin brother somewhere that had an identity to assume. Maybe the mob that John was associated with (we know all actors who own bars in Chicago are mob-related!) took Mark out and threatened his family so they would keep it hush.
So here is the evidence that I present to you, the first picture being the two images I assembled from Mark’s Linkedin public profile, and the other from a John Candy fan site.
And here is the composite image of the two, with John Candy overlaid on the left. Look at the remarkable match — the bags under the eyes, the dimples and chipped teeth, the double chin! Apparently John was able to lose much of the weight he put on while under the stress of being an actor and of all his other business interests, after assuming Mark’s identity. Everybody knows how hard it is for an actor to deal with stress, and John did it by eating. Mark’s nose has been surgically altered to give it a little bit of a hook, but that was done so that it wasn’t quickly apparent to the average shmuck that they were being duped. The crook in the nose remained the same after reconstructive plastic surgery. Everything else lines up perfectly — ear lobes, eyebrows, lips, receding hair line!
Amazing what one can do with an expert application of Photoshop like Mark has taught us how to do! And I find it fascinating that the match between the two in these photos is even better than any of the photo pairs that Mark has assembled. What an awesome way to discover the true reality of the lifestyles of the rich and famous!
I give you John-Mark:
Apologies to the family, friends and fans of John Candy for this piece of sarcasm.