I’m Pirate Booty and if you want a REAL puppet for Sheriff, look no further!
Earlier today, at a Parks and Rec meeting, I unveiled my innovative “OD Selfie” deterrent program intended to shame drug abusers into sobriety with the threat of having their unconscious bodies photographed with a puppet. Elect me, I told the amazed audience sitting in the Headwaters Conference Room, and drug abuse will be eradicated in 3-6 months!
If I had more than 3 minutes I would have continued dropping “bangers” (cool-speak for a neat idea) like “geographical plea deals”. The idea here is to take a “justice-involved” person with ties OUTSIDE Montana and offer them reduced sentences stipulating they GET THE FUCK OUT OF TOWN and not return under threat of serving their FULL TIME, or worse.
Other ideas I’m kicking around in my empty puppet head include implementing the “Thunderdome Pod” and seeking corporate sponsorships for other pods at the jail, like the Inimmune Fentanyl Pod. Just spit-balling here for that new CMO they hired.
A biotech company developing next-generation immunotherapies in Missoula appointed a new chief medical officer this week, taking a key step toward further growth.
Inimmune said the appointment of Ferdinand Massari as CMO and Ryan McMillian as head of financial strategy “strengthen the leadership team” and moves the company “toward key milestones and planned expansion into allergic asthma and food allergy.”
“Inimmune is entering an important phase of growth as we continue to advance our pipeline and broaden our capabilities,” said David Burkhart, the CEO Inimmune Corp.
There are also, I believe, untapped revenue streams when it comes to live-streaming jail drama and applying poly-market ethos to inmates, so make sure to follow me on Instagram @PirateBooty19. You’ll see me practicing my Salish-Kootenai, reading poems by Donald Rumsfeld, and SO MUCH MORE!
And remember…
GIVE BOOTY A CHANCE!