by Travis Mateer
What the hell am I talking about? That’s probably what you’re thinking after reading the title of this post. How could transforming my growing admiration for Detective Guy Baker into an official fan club help get our local police department money? Am I high?
Before I get to my idea, let me explain something about Missoula for those who aren’t familiar with the community I’ve spent the last 23 years living in. Missoula likes to think of itself as INNOVATIVE and CUTTING EDGE when it comes to talking about how we approach difficult issues, like crime, drug addiction and homelessness. But are we?
The biomedical startups in Missoula are certainly thinking about cutting edge technology when it comes to injecting shit into your body, and one company in particular has been getting money AND attention for their work. And THAT is when I got an idea, an idea that could solve all kinds of problems.
One looming problem facing law enforcement–and EVERYONE in Missoula–is the problem of balancing a budget. Public Schools are losing their Covid money, businesses are closing, property taxes are soaring, and local government is busy buying mountains and handing out TIF money to banks and Mexican restaurants.
Not only is money tight, but the optics for local law enforcement continues to be NOT good. Take the woman who has been burglarizing houses recently. Here is the meager reporting from the Missoulian about “investigators” finally identifying and arresting this woman.
After several home intrusions in the East Broadway and Rattlesnake neighborhoods, Missoula police officers arrested a suspect Wednesday afternoon.
“Our investigators have successfully identified the suspect as a 43-year-old female,” Missoula Police spokeswoman Whitney Bennett wrote in an email on Wednesday.
Bennett said the woman had not displayed aggression toward residents she encountered, and had made excuses for her behavior when confronted by homeowners. Police advise homeowners to keep their home and vehicle doors locked and provide adequate outdoor lighting to deter criminal activity.
While local media hasn’t named this person, I’m pretty sure it’s this repeat offender:
I have sympathy for law enforcement and the vicarious trauma they take on doing a high-risk job for shitty pay. That’s why a Detective Guy Baker Fan Club would advocate for the creation of a new police unit, led by Baker, to better address the network enabling chronic offenders, and this new unit would be equipped with the latest in OPIATE VACCINE TECHNOLOGY.
Here’s a recent story about the University of Montana getting EVEN MORE money to help develop cutting edge biomedical technology. From the link:
The University of Montana recently earned a four-year, $4 million Research Evaluation and Commercialization Hub (REACH) award from the National Institutes of Health.
The award will establish the L.S. Skaggs Institute for Health Innovation–Research Evaluation and Commercialization Hub (SIHI-REACH).
The UM-based hub will accelerate commercialization of biomedical innovation across Montana, Alaska, Idaho, and Wyoming, as well as help academic innovators develop medical products that address unmet medical needs across the U.S.
Is dealing with chronically offending addicts an unmet need across the U.S.? Hell yes it is, so let’s get INNOVATIVE, Missoula, and take advantage of our SUPER COP, Guy Baker, a guy who knows LOTS about drug trafficking, human trafficking, missing persons, and how to get media to think you’re doing EVERYTHING you can to accomplish the goal of catching the bad guys (and gals).
This idea is still in the forming stage, so I’m hoping 2024 will give me the opportunity to flesh out how this new police unit might operate. The only problem I can foresee is the potential of a member of this new unit having a pre-existing taste for opiates. Yes, that could be a problem, but I’m sure we wouldn’t have to worry about our SUPER COP, Guy Baker, because he’s a goddamn professional.
I’ve been collecting stories about the amazingly professional conduct of Detective Guy Baker, so another benefit of creating a Detective Guy Baker Fan Club would be to archive these stories for posterity. I’m sure someone who has appeared in a book by a well-known author, and a nationally syndicated podcast series, would be HAPPY to have his accomplishments achieved. Right?
If you are excited as I am about what 2024 has in store, then consider directing some monetary support to Travis’ Impact Fund (TIF).
Thanks for reading!