by William Skink

It’s the year 2036, and in order to optimize efficiencies and align visionary goals, Missoula has created a new department called THE DEPARTMENT OF EVERYTHING.

The DOE will help integrate the national standards movement developed by our AI president, The Elon Consensus, named after the man who established the first mining colony on Mars.

To oversee the DOE, Missoula’s Grand Priestess, Gwen Bones, selected Eran Pawn to run the department. Pawn is no stranger to local government, having overseen the Coastal Refugee Replacement Program during the Great Reset.

Now that non-efficient Missoula residents have been replaced with optimized coastal refugees, the next step is for the DOE to implement the 2040 plan, outfitting all residential units with Smart Grid Butler Cubes, the cutting-edge tech from The Elon Consensus that will ensure all Missoula residents will be in LOCKSTEP with the values of the 2040 plan.

With our utopian ideals finally within reach, let us give thanks to the last male leader Missoula had, Mayor Ogen, who, having realized the deficiencies of his gender and leadership role, self-immolated via Zoom, paving the way for the Grand Priestess to ascend.

Blessed be to Priestess Bones and the Great Reset that made our optimized future a reality!

*this post is a parody of the creation of Missoula’s new Department of Community Planning, Development and Innovation.