by William Skink
This post is intended to make amends for not fully supporting a real man for US Senate. That real man who should be reelected is Jon Tester–a farmer, eater of meat–and not some namby-pamby gun control zealot.
Am I man enough to support Jon Tester? I am not sure. I own a Justin Timberlake album and may even have bromantic feelings for a conservative. So as a sort of mea culpa I’ve created my Tester Rap, which we will get to in a second.
But first, it’s important to acknowledge that real men get things done, and Tester is a real man who gets things done. Not on gun control, of course. No, Tester knows who the important people are to help, and it’s not the weak-knee liberals he is so often mistakingly associated with–it’s bankers. The conjurers of cash and makers of bubbles need help, and Tester is there for them.
But don’t take it from me, here’s an article from The Intercept you can read about Tester keeping at like a real man to help community banks. That’s the propaganda pitch, of course, to help “community” banks. Sometimes real men have to be manipulative like that to help out the important people who just happen to give lots of money to political campaigns. From the link:
“There was some agreement that we should help community banks,” Brown said in an interview. “But it starts with changing the rules for small banks and then you have to do it for the big guys.”
Instead of the ranking member’s departure ending the process, however, the very next day moderate Democrats on the Banking Committee stepped into his place. Led by Heitkamp and Tester, they negotiated directly with Crapo, and within a couple weeks, reached a breakthrough on S.2155: the “Economic Growth, Regulatory Relief and Consumer Protection Act” (pro-regulation groups have taken to calling it the “Bank Lobbyist Act.”) Within weeks, the bill swiftly passed the Banking Committee 16-7, with Republicans and a bloc of four Democrats — Heitkamp, Tester, Donnelly, and Warner — voting down every attempt to amend it.
Heitkamp, Tester, and Donnelly are all up for re-election in November, in states Trump carried by a wide margin. Democratic staffers believe they longed to show distance from the national party, whatever the topic. “They want to be able to say ‘bipartisan’ to constituents,” said one aide. “The ‘what’ doesn’t matter.”
So all that said, here’s the video. Lyrics are after the fold. I will also say for anyone concerned that no Petey heads were damaged with the making of this video. Enjoy!