by Travis Mateer

Some recent articles that I find to be curiously well-timed caught my attention this week. The most obvious one is titled Montana State Crime Lab in Missoula recognized for fast case turnarounds. After a bout of cynical laughter, I clicked on the article to read how an agency that STILL hasn’t identified the body found on May 17th (it is now June 2nd) is being recognized for being “fast”.

The Montana State Crime Lab in Missoula has been recognized for its efficiency by the American Society of Crime Laboratory Directors for the second year in a row.

Montana State Crime Lab administrator Travis Spinder said in the annual report that the Montana Department of Justice’s Forensic Science Division “underwent a major change in 2021 with the departure of our division administrator, Scott Larson.

Spinder was hired as Larson’s replacement in October. Despite the shake-up, in almost all areas the department’s analysis turnaround times either dropped or stayed the same in 2021.

I’ll be filing this one in ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Now, on to the benevolent actions of Two Bear Air, a search and rescue business that emerged from the DEEP pockets of Mike Goguen. Before getting to the POSITIVE article about Two Bear Air, let’s take a look at the billionaire who owns this outfit:

A tech billionaire allegedly kept a spreadsheet of 5,000 women he has had sex with, one of them a teenager he paid off to keep quiet, despite losing his high-profile job over a sexual misconduct allegation in 2016.

Michael Goguen, 57, a former partner at Sequoia Capital who now heads his own firm, has been sued by four former employees who say they helped manage his ‘harem’ of women.

The explosive lawsuit claims the investor met with the women at various safe houses or at a ‘boom boom’ room in the basement of his bar in Whitefish, a small town in Montana where he now lives.

When this tech billionaire is NOT being accused of banging women in his boom boom room, he’s playing Batman with his helicopter, helping to recover a man killed in a kayaking incident. From the link:

Two Bear Air of Whitefish helped recover an Idaho man killed Monday in a kayaking accident in the Salmon River. 

The Idaho County Sheriff’s Office reports its office received a notification from the International Emergency Response Coordination Center about an SOS call from a Garmin inReach device advising a kayaker had died. 

The coordinates given were in the Fall Creek area. This area is not accessible via road.

When Life Flight was unable to fly, Two Bear Air responded.

In a BIG state like Montana, with dangerously incapable Sheriffs (like Mike Toth), billionaires with superhero complexes get to have LOTS of fun doing hero shit. So what if they bang a teen every now and then in a boom boom room? Just think of it as the price we have to pay to get philanthrop’d by billionaires.

Thanks for reading!