by Travis Mateer

This image is a dramatic reenactment of City Council doing their best to toss a Wisconsin developer a precious gift two years ago. Unfortunately that developer, Nick Checota, dropped the Engen-faced bundle after it was deemed human cattle wouldn’t be allowed in physical proximity to each other because some psychos gave the common cold an extra kick in their mad scientist lab in Wuhan.

Now that a good portion of the cattle have been injected by convicted felons who run big drug dealing companies, the precious bundle is back in play. HOW EXCITING!!!!

From the link:

“My hunch is the landowner is just getting their ducks in a row for what comes next, which is great,” Missoula Mayor John Engen told the Missoula Current on Thursday morning. “It’s a positive sign. We have seen a variety of proposals, none of which are in the form of construction documents.”

What happens after ducks are all in a row? Will they get shot? How can our woke Mayor use an idiom that implies shooting? This is SERIOUS!!!

Here’s some deep research I did on the internets to prove my point:

To get one’s ducks in a row means to take care of one’s duties and responsibilities, to organize one’s affairs. Get one’s ducks in a row and have one’s ducks in a row are American idioms, the origin of these phrases is murky. One possible origin is a lawn bowling game that was popular in the 1700s, which involved setting up duck pins, obviously, in a row. Another possible inspiration for the term get one’s ducks in a row is the way in which tin ducks are lined up in a shooting gallery.

That’s my emphasis because HOLY CRAP! Did anyone secretly record our Mayor using this micro-aggression against ducks? Where is the woke mob when you need them? Demonizing Aaron Rogers? Hunting down Eric Clapton? Pinning down non-compliant 5 year olds to stick ’em good?

I think we’re on our own now, folks. No Engen-faced bundle will be tossed to us like a precious life-line.

Thanks for trying.