My Bad Mask Behavior At The Good Food Store And A Thought Experiment About Where We Are Headed

by William Skink

Last week I had a negative, mask-related retail experience that highlights the stupidity of the mask mandate.

Did I try to enter a business without a mask, you ask?

No, I didn’t.

Did I remove my mask once getting past frontline gatekeepers?

No, I didn’t.

My big transgression was trying to enter the Good Food Store with this thing velcro’d to my face:


The woman stationed at the entrance with bandannas informed me I couldn’t enter the store with my mask on because it has those vent things (which were closed).

So, to be in compliance with the Good Food Store’s interpretation of what constitutes an acceptable mask, I took my mask off, removing the fabric barrier that provides psychological protection to those with diminished brain functioning, thus freely spraying spittle as I said “sure, whatever.”

The woman, who got no argument from me because she’s just doing her job, handed me a bandana, which I promptly tied around my face. Why is a flimsy bandana considered more protective than the mask I was wearing? Is there any science backing up this madness?

The customer service guy, who had moved into a support position in case I made a big problem, said “you understand the philosophy behind this, right?”

I looked at him and said “I understand many things” which was a nice way of saying I am doing what you asked so please just shut the fuck up now.

For anyone who hasn’t uncritically accepted the mask orthodoxy, Ryan Christian interviewed Ben Swann recently and it’s definitely worth checking out.

As a thought experiment, what if this ridiculous request to abandon my mask for their face bandana had been the straw that pushed me over the edge and I started acting aggressively, refusing to leave? Would this woke, liberally-loved, overpriced organic food store have called…THE POLICE?

If our enlightened braintrust have their way, 911 dispatch might one day have the tools to assess this kind of call as a person (me, losing my shit over mask idiocy) suffering a mental health crisis, and instead of police responding, social workers would appear to deescalate me and offer crisis stabilization services.

By this point, let’s assume the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) has successfully conflated not wearing masks with being a psychopath. If you think I’m being hyperbolic, then you aren’t familiar with this research:

Two recent studies looked at the relationship between personality traits and reactions to restrictions put in place to slow the spread of the coronavirus COVID-19. Researchers found that people possessing so-called “Dark Triad” traits—narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism—were less likely to comply with restrictions or engage in preventative measures against the pandemic. However, researchers also emphasized the small role personality traits have in the overall response to pandemic restrictions, like face-mask mandates and social-distancing requirements.

So, in this fictional scenario where I don’t comply, the social workers show up first, assess I’m a danger to myself and others, and if I don’t calm down, the police are called in to whisk me away for a 72 involuntary hold at St. Pats where I’m diagnosed with Anti-Mask Syndrome and forcibly medicated.

If you think this scenario sounds implausible in America, you clearly are not paying attention. This is where we are headed, aided and abetted by the kinds of good intentions paving paths to a totalitarian hell.

About Travis Mateer

I'm an artist and citizen journalist living and writing in Montana. You can contact me here: willskink at yahoo dot com
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6 Responses to My Bad Mask Behavior At The Good Food Store And A Thought Experiment About Where We Are Headed

  1. Djinn&tonic says:

    hahaha… I have also had arbitrary rules that seemed illogical, placed used on me at GFS (My friends and I refer to it as the ‘BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE’ Store) aka Good Food Store. I got chased down and told my motorcycle (full face helmet) wasn’t going to work, That it had to be a “cloth mask”… They keep changing the goal posts with the excuse that it’s the city health department. This after a few days of employees wearing the plastic full face covers. I never liked ‘Simon says games’ for children even back then…

    Anyway different note: (The following reminded me of the letters to the editor type letter) that was somehow printed all across the country in the so called, ‘Opinion sections’ mostly word for word to support the Iraqi war. If memory serves, it was mega corps clear-channel and their propag**e**nda pushing these things; nefariously pretending to be organic concerned citizens. When it was really systemic propag**e**nda. Anyone remember that?

  2. Tim A says:

    Generally people in middle-management are unhappy with their lives/selves so they take the opportunity to become little mini dictators once they realize they won’t be promoted above their current level of incompetence. They LOVE rules. And the only thing they love more than rules is ENFORCING the rules. It’s a similar power trip as you see in some cops and government bureaucrats. Probably why Missoula county HR is 80% middle-aged fat chicks.

  3. JC says:

    My SO had the same thing happen a couple weeks ago. Walked into the goofoo with a mask like yours and was told to take it off and put on a handkerchief. Makes no sense. She was so pissed, and still is every time she thinks or talks about it. So I read her the order from Bullock, and it is explicit in no exhalation valve, but no specifics on fabric. I told her that (not standing up for the Directive, just giving her info) and it pissed her off even more.

    The goof is probably the most strict store on the definitions. That probably keeps the noise from Karen and Ken down to a muted roar. But there really isn’t any scientific rationalization where a single piece of kerchief fabric is any better than a good mask with a valve. The valve on hers directed exhalation down (not any different than a loose kerchief, which avoids blasting a cough or sneeze right at somebody.

    And who trusts the goofy store to properly sanitize the kerchief you put on your face to breathe in through?

    One wishes that good public health education, information and policy wasn’t a casualty of the drive to politicize absolutely everything, damn the science. There’s easier ways we could be dealing with this. It all could have been over by the end of March with any sort of rational leadership. Look at New Zealand. Life there goes on mostly normal now. And it didn’t have anything to do with politics or economic systems. Just a collective desire of the populace to stop the spread asap so people could get on with their lives.

  4. Big Swede says:

    Here, get in this boxcar, it’s for your own good.

  5. Djinn&Tonic says:

    Here, get in this boxcar, it’s for your own good.
    Yes, get on that train…
    The Homeland Security Vacuum Cleaner

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