by William Skink

Who amongst you is left from the carnage of Thanksgiving? I, as a fully appreciative white man celebrating my reign over all delicious fowl and caloric constraints, shall bask in the glorious ascendency long denied me.

I therefore assert it is only natural for one to seek supremacy regarding this bountiful blessing afforded us noble white men, who shall grant all others their agency to be others in strict adherence to their preferable ranking within out sacred status quo.

Who amongst you knows what the hell I am talking about? Surely few, for even I know not of what I speak and so must turn the cheek of my sad Turkey’s thankless white meat, left uneaten.

Perhaps it is by this measure we have been beaten.