While promoting my little fundraiser today I was told by someone that I’m a suspect in a tire slashing. This person was told to call the police if they saw me. Thankfully I was told of the alleged incident instead, so I walked the two blocks to the police station to see if an accusation against me had indeed been made.
After waiting for about 15 minutes an officer came to talk to me and said that, yes, there was a reported tire slashing and, yes, my name was indeed put forward, though the cop assigned the case had yet to review the footage. After assuring the officer that I had slashed absolutely zero tires, I explained a little context of how my employment ended, then offered to be further available if there were any more questions for me.
All this made me think about an acronym that I find helpful to consider when dealing with certain types of people, and that acronym is DARVO. Here’s what it means:
DARVO is an acronym for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender, a manipulative tactic used by abusers and perpetrators to avoid accountability by denying wrongdoing, attacking the accuser, and portraying themselves as the victim, effectively turning the situation upside down and making the actual victim feel like the wrongdoer. This psychological strategy gaslights the victim, confuses the issues, and is seen in various contexts like domestic abuse, legal battles, and even institutional settings, often leaving survivors feeling disoriented and doubting their reality.
It’s unfortunate to see tactics like this used, but after years of defending myself against some very troubled people, it’s nothing new. In fact, it’s pretty damn predictable.
Thanks for reading!
