by Travis Mateer

Sometimes I simply marvel at how the spirit moves me to be in the right place at the right time…and looking HILARIOUS! That’s what happened as I happily rollerbladed down Higgins with a new idea for my Trash Truck in mind.

I’ll be honest, the spirit that moved me was the water I needed to pee out somewhere, so I got on my skates, strapped on my knee pads, and put an antique black fireman’s helmet on with the appropriate number 9 on the front (I’m a Virgo, figure it out) to go find a nice dumpster somewhere to relieve myself, and that’s when I saw Ellen.

“Hi Ellen!” I exclaimed as I skated by.

“Hi,” she replied back…”how you doing?”

“Great, I’m on rollerblades!” And that’s all I could say as I rolled by the director of the Missoula Redevelopment Agency.

As I’m typing this I’ve still got my skates on and there’s music blaring from my megaphone. I’m pretty satisfied with how I MacGyver’d my phone to get close enough to the detached mouthpiece for amplification. 

Did Ellen enjoy the classic Köln Concert recorded by Keith Jarrett in 1975? I sure hope she did, because there’s so many OTHER things that could be getting amplification right now, ya feel me? 

What ideas are brewing? I’d like to go Doctor Parnassus on the streets of this town, but I would need some help. Am I finding people approaching me who might be able to bring a new level of street theater to this spiritually dying town? Maybe. And there’s also the Noise Complaint crew, who I hear might be having some fun on Sunday for the appearance of Trump Junior. Oh boy, things might REALLY get fun if that happens!

I did notice some limitations to my setup last night. For example, when three cute girls approached me on bikes to ask what’s up, I couldn’t TURN THE VOLUME DOWN very easily, especially since I was sitting cross-legged and still wearing my skates. Damn!

Anyways, all it takes are a few good interactions to cheer me up, and some ideas to stay focused on, so let’s see where this one takes me.

If you’d like to assist my creative efforts, Travis’ Impact Fund (TIF) is ready to accept your donation.

Thanks for reading!