Why I Think The Municipal Playbook Won’t Be Impacted By The Outcome Of The Mayoral Race

by Travis Mateer

I hurriedly took this image as I was driving because it exemplifies perfectly why I don’t think the Mayor’s race matters much when it comes to the Municipal playbook, which I can sum up in six words: scapegoat the state, panhandle the Feds.

Let me explain how I read this image, since it won’t be apparent to the casual observer. What I see is dependency (Mountain Line), energy (Electrical Wholesale), and the only escape that exists from the burden of paying the taxman, which is death (Garden City Funeral Home).

While the last two are fairly self-explanatory, you might be scratching your head about the “dependency” I’m referring to when I see our local public bus system. Maybe that’s because you don’t notice the dependency created by Federal dollars until those dollars are at risk of going away. From the link (emphasis mine):

An amendment added to a transportation bill in the U.S. House of Representatives could cut federal funding to transportation agencies that provide zero fare service, including Mountain Line in Missoula.

Mountain Line officials on Thursday expressed concern that the so-call “Perry amendment,” offered by Rep. Scott Perry, R-Pennsylvania, could end crucial federal funding that’s vital to Missoula’s transit agency and others like it around the country.

If Perry’s amendment is successful, then the progressive agenda of providing free bus rides to people who can’t always keep their dicks in their pants won’t be sustainable. Does anyone else see a problem with this? The funding I mean–hopefully EVERYONE sees the problem with public masturbation on public buses.

Here’s a Mountain Line board member explaining how local progressive transportation policy can’t exist without Federal handouts:

“Mountain Line has universal free fare, and that jeopardizes any federal funding, which is extremely concerning given that a lot of funding comes from the federal government, and that’s what allows us to do a lot of the progressive and innovative things we do here in Missoula,” said Mountain Line board member Josephine Hazelton-Boyle.

Mountain Line switched to zero fare service in 2015 and has seen ridership swell in recent years. The agency also is moving to an electric fleet of busses and is building a new transit center to accommodate growth and changing technology.

How much energy (which of course takes money) will be needed to accommodate all the changing technology we lucky humans can expect from our betters? I don’t know, ask the successful pork man who doesn’t need 10 fingers to haul home the pork, like this Biden support announced last month to help Montana’s TECH HUB dreams come true. I’m sure this has nothing to do with Tester’s dream of winning reelection.

As part of his continued push to bring a Regional Technology and Innovation Hub to Montana, U.S. Senator Jon Tester announced today that Montana has been selected as a Regional Tech Hub by the Economic Development Administration. The highly competitive designation follows a years-long push by Tester to secure a rural Tech Hub in Montana and opens the door for the state to compete for millions of dollars in new private and federal investment. With Senator Tester’s backing, Montana was selected from nearly 200 applicants to receive one of roughly 30 new Tech Hub designations.

Cool, what does this mean? It means that problems created by piece of shit corporations will get money to create solutions for the problems they helped create in the first place.

What am I talking about? I’m taking about a fucking Fentanyl vaccine. Isn’t that hilarious?

From the link:

Opioid overdoses could become less likely thanks in part to new research being done at the University of Montana. In early 2024, a fentanyl vaccine, designed by University researchers in collaboration with Inimmune, a Missoula-based biotech company, will undergo phase one of human clinical trials. 

During this early phase, the drug will be tested for its effectiveness at varying doses. Researchers are looking at what dose of the drug safely prevents fentanyl from crossing the blood-brain barrier — the main purpose of the vaccine. The $33 million needed to push the drug through phase one is being funded by the National Institute of Health.

Will either Mayor Penis or Mayor Vagina ever think to criticize the public/private partnerships that local governments are increasingly pimping themselves out for? Doubtful. Mayors are promoters, not criticizers, so it’s up to the media to cast a critical eye on business and government singing kumbaya together.

Since I know how shitty our local media is, here’s my reporting on how this hilarious biomedical breakthrough is being achieved:

The Origin Story Of Missoula Biotech Company, Inimmune (June 28th, 2020)

What the CEO Of Inimmune And The Missoula Current Aren’t Telling You (July 15th, 2020)

UM’s Public/Private Business Incubator Gets 33 Million Grant To Develop An Opioid Vaccine…Wait, WHAT?! (September 21st, 2020)

The Real Story Behind The Big Sky Business Insight Summit (October 9th, 2020)

Whoever wins the Mayoral race, they should consider taking this new vaccine technology that makes drugs like Fentanyl and Heroin no fun and apply it to local law enforcement. This isn’t MY idea, it’s what I discovered is one potential use of this new vaccine technology (emphasis mine):

Jay Evans, director of the UM Center for Translational Medicine, said he can see this vaccine being given to addicts who are entering rehabilitative programs and to people who may be at high risk of accidental exposures, such as Drug Enforcement Agency officers or soldiers in areas of the world where the use of fentanyl as a weapon of chemical warfare is a concern.

Are you beginning to see why I’m amused by this? Or do you accept the premise of this article and assume the only problem with law enforcement and drugs is “accidental” exposure?

So, in summation, congrats Mike or Andrea on your victory. The ambivalence bordering on cynicism I have for your respective campaigns is more a result of the office your seeking than it is my estimation of your ability to actually do anything beyond the simple promotion of Missoula as a place to live, visit and/or do business.

If either of you get a wild hair up your ass, I’m totally available to take over the reigns from Ellen at the Missoula Redevelopment Agency. I have some visionary ideas that could truly transform that agency from a slush fund into a tool for Montana homeowners to protect what little remains as the RUSH to snatch up property continues to outpace local ability to buy-in to this crazy market.

To support my local reporting, please consider showing Travis’ Impact Fund (TIF) some love, or you can make a donation at my about page. I haven’t seen a donation come in for quite some time, and YOU can change that.

Thanks for reading!

About Travis Mateer

I'm an artist and citizen journalist living and writing in Montana. You can contact me here: willskink at yahoo dot com
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