This Dead Fox Investigation Is The Funniest Thing I’ve Read All Week!

by Travis Mateer

I know it’s only hump-day, but I needed something to lighten my dark mood, so I am VERY HAPPY to see this hilarious article about a dead fox and how an investigation is underway into how this dead fox became a dead fox. Go get ’em, Butte authorities!

An investigation is underway after a dead fox was found in an animal trap on a Butte walking trail.

Butte animal control officer JD Santifer says a local resident called the sheriff’s office over the weekend to report a dead fox who was hanging from a steel foothold snap trap on a tree.

The illegally set trap was located on the Chamber Of Commerce trail by the Pinion Street exit, just a few hundred yards from Harrison Avenue.

I wish I could explain the FULL hilarity of this quote, but synchronicities are often quite personal, so I think I’ll keep this one to myself.

Finding this dead fox story funny is a choice, and a much better one than the alternative, so HA HA HA, universe, fucking hilarious!

Is part of the hilarity the fact that I was at a funeral home earlier this week inquiring about dead HUMAN bodies? Yes, indeed, that is part of it. Unfortunately, the funeral home couldn’t help me. I was instead referred to the Sheriff’s Office, to which I laughed.

Why do I keep trying to get people to care about dead people? I’ve been asking myself that a lot lately. I mean, people barely fucking care about the living, so why do I hope any shits will be given for the dead?

Regardless, I suspect I’ll be thinking about dead people a fair amount when I go downtown on Thursday for the return of the Festival of the Dead. On that front, I can report that I GREATLY enjoyed putting a certain race-baiter on notice by asking him directly if he was involved in agitating against this event. The race-baiter just chuckled before saying “no comment” and hanging up on me.

It’s a good thing this race-baiter bailed so quickly on this opportunity to dialogue with me because I’m no fawning undergrad begging to be shamed like a gimp begs for his whip.

With the right mindset, anything can be hilarious, but if gimps with whips aren’t your style, and you’re feeling a little sad thinking about a fox trap, then allow me to suggest a shift in perception with THIS kind of a “Fox trap”:

If you’re smiling, you’re welcome. If not, I understand. My current sense of humor does not come from a place of sunshine and rainbows.

If you appreciate my Fox trap perspective, Travis’ Impact Fund (TIF) is one way to show your support, and making a donation at my about page is another.

Thanks for reading!

About Travis Mateer

I'm an artist and citizen journalist living and writing in Montana. You can contact me here: willskink at yahoo dot com
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