A “New To The Beat” Missoulian Reporter Expresses Excitement Over Her Application To Become More Brainwashed

by Travis Mateer

I am excited that education reporter Skylar Rispens is excited about submitting an application to the Education Writers Association. Why? Because it educated me about the continuing “education” Skylar will receive if accepted.

Here’s the excitement which is, of course, being expressed on Twitter:

The program Skylar Rispens has been dreaming about, called NEW TO THE BEAT, is a dream that entails a handler mentor AND trip to DC. Here are some of the cool things a NEW TO THE BEAT applicant will learn:

The January event will cover beat basics like making the most of open records and how to find and use education research, plus provide a crash course in navigating education policy and politics. Participants will also learn how to use key federal databases, and how to take their writing and interviewing skills to the next level.

When I think of what it takes to go NEXT LEVEL with mentors and training in DC, I think money because, let’s face it, America’s capitol is a pay-to-play cesspool of corruption.

Ok, now the big reveal. Who exactly is paying for Skylar Rispens to realize her dream in DC?

If you weren’t already disgusted by the sorry state of local media, here are a few new reasons to be cynical.

Unless, of course, you’re eager to take Lumina’s equity self-assessment, or read the reporting from an ALEC-supporting foundation created with Walmart loot.

Thanks for reading!