by William Skink

Nate Silver is skeptical about the impact of Russia on the 2016 election. Nate Silver has obviously been taken over by Russia. Russia has infiltrated everything. Black Americans were targeted by Russia and obviously would have universally pledged their support to Hillary had not Russia troll farms done their evil psychological operations on Black Americans.

When I say everything has been infiltrated by Russia, I mean everything. I just recently learned I’ve been subjecting my young daughter to Russian propaganda without even knowing it. Thankfully there are articles like this to let me know about the evil Russian soft power lurking behind the cartoon Masha and the Bear:

A Russian-made children’s cartoon show has been accused of being part of the Putin propaganda machine.

Masha and the Bear focuses on the relationship between a slight but imposing young girl and her protector, a huge bear.

In one Masha even dons a Soviet border guard’s hat as she repels invaders from the Bear’s carrot patch.

Critics said this was a metaphor for how Russia protects its borders.

The show, which has more than 4.18 million subscribers on YouTube and an accumulative 40 billion views, is produced in English in Moscow but has still drawn the ire of intellectuals in Russia’s neighbouring states.

The show has also recently ramped up its retail efforts, been added to Netflix and expanded to Spanish.

Yes, Netflix has been the delivery system nefariously luring my young daughter into the dark metaphor of a big bear and a young girl protecting the metaphorical carrot patch from western rabbits. Or something like that.

Please, Americans of all colors and ideologies, we must band together to stop the evil Russians from infiltrating our lives. Stay vigilant, citizens!

UPDATE:

I forgot to mention another thing weaponized by Putin: humor. No, seriously. From the link:

Political satire flourished on TV in the form of latex puppets during the 1990s, but it was quickly slapped down when Vladimir Putin came to power.

In today’s Russia, where the media is largely controlled by the Kremlin and its allies, there is little room for genuine political humour unless it is used to deflect the blame from the government.

Humour and ridicule were a key part of Moscow’s response when the UK said it was “highly likely” that Russia was behind the poisoning of former spy Sergei Skripal and his daughter, Yulia, in Salisbury.

Russian officials and media figures have since tried to turn the English phrase “highly likely” into a mocking catchphrase that implies Russia is being blamed for everything with the flimsiest of evidence.

I would laugh, but that would just be evidence that the Russian propaganda is working on me.