How Noble Is Our Killing?

by William Skink

SCENE I

But “Putin’s a killer,” O’Reilly said.

“You got a lot of killers,” Trump shot back. “What, you think our country’s so innocent?”

SCENE II

“Turns out I’m really good at killing people,” Obama said quietly, “Didn’t know that was gonna be a strong suit of mine.”

SCENE III

“We have heard that half a million children have died. I mean, that’s more children than died in Hiroshima. And, you know, is the price worth it?”

I think this is a very hard choice, but the price — we think the price is worth it.

SCENE IV

Asked about the strike that killed him, a senior adviser to the president’s campaign suggests he should’ve “had a more responsible father.”

Cornered by reporters with video cameras, former White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, a senior adviser to President Obama’s reelection campaign, attempted to defend the kill list that the Obama Administration uses to determine whose body should next be blown apart.