Is Ryan Lochte the Victim of A Russian Plot to Embarrass America?

by William Skink

Clearly the American embarrassment known as Ryan Lochte succumbed to a Russian plot in Rio. I suspect Russian agents infiltrated the party Lochte left with his swimmer bros and used some kind of chemical agent and/or mind control techniques to cause the swimmers to go berserker on a gas station bathroom.

Knowing the inclination of Americans to lie and blame others for their misbehavior, all Russia had to do was sit back and watch the moronic Lochte concoct a robbery story that was immediately scoped up by the propagandists in our media predisposed to any negative story depicting Brazil as a dangerous, disgusting toilet of a country unable to pull off an Olympics in their third world hovel.

I hope our media can uncover this Russian plot to embarrass us at the Olympics so we can get back to feeling superior and mocking others like entitled mean girls laughing at the less fashionable at a high school prom.

About Travis Mateer

I'm an artist and citizen journalist living and writing in Montana. You can contact me here: willskink at yahoo dot com
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4 Responses to Is Ryan Lochte the Victim of A Russian Plot to Embarrass America?

  1. Big Swede says:

    Actually it wasn’t Lochte. It was his twin.

    Ask Mark, he’s working on it.

    • I am amazed Swede at how people can look evidence right in the eye and not be moved. You believe what you are told you see by your authority figures, and not what you actually see. Amazing thought control. Anyway, don’t mention my name and your fingers don’t get burned, ok?

  2. steve kelly says:

    Or just another actor-agent op gone bad? Since Sochi it’s been non-stop bullshit and deception in the U.S. media.

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