Light Enforcement Identifies Possible Influence Of Demon Weed

by Travis Mateer

How was your week, dear readers? My week was fantastic, especially considering how it started on Monday when the bright lights of law enforcement highlighted my own light deficiency. I pulled over and was very cooperative as our hero with a badge used his sniffer to detect the potential influence of the demon weed, and acted accordingly.

The testing took nearly an hour, and I thought I was doing pretty good, like when I blew nothing but 0’s on the breathalyzer. Next, the officer desired saliva from me, which I gave him. Then the request came for my blood.

At this point I started becoming worried that this cop was actually a vampire looking for a fix, so I declined. That’s when the handcuffs came out. Fun!

The best part, though, was listening to the rap artist express himself while the cop drove me to jail. We drove across the Russell Street bridge, where people in violation of the urban camp ordinance were hanging out, undisturbed, and I tried counting how many NIGGERS I heard on the radio. When we pulled into the parking spot, the line FUCK THE POLICE was uttered with such passion, I couldn’t help but vibe with the rapper who our hero cop was bouncing to while keeping the streets safe from those he suspects are under its dark influence.

I went looking online for some information on demon’s weed influence on driving and found this paper (PDF) from the Norml website. Here’s an excerpt from the abstract:

Fourteen US states have amended their longstanding, effect-based DUI drug laws to per se or zero tolerant per se statutes in regard to cannabis. Other states are considering enacting similar legislation. Under these amended traffic safety laws, it is a criminal violation for one to operate a motor vehicle with trace levels of cannabinoids or their metabolites in his or her blood or urine. Opponents of per se cannabinoid limits argue that neither the presence of cannabinoids nor their metabolites are appropriate or consistent predictors of behavioral or psychomotor impairment. They further argue that the imposition of such per se limits may result in the criminal conviction of individuals who may have previously consumed cannabis at some unspecified point in time, but were no longer under its influence. As more states enact statutory changes allowing for the legal use of cannabis under certain circumstances, there is a growing need to re-examine the appropriateness of these proposed per se standards for cannabinoids and their metabolites because the imposition of such limits may, in some instances, inadvertently criminalize behavior that poses no threat to traffic safety, such as the state-sanctioned private consumption of cannabis by adults.

In court, the conspicuous lack of alcohol in my case caused the judge to NOT set the condition for me to avoid establishments that sell alcohol, noting that alcohol was NOT a factor. Interestingly, I was also NOT ordered to avoid establishments that sell the demon weed. Why not? Are they just going to let me continue inviting the influence of weed into my life so I can create art atrocities like this children’s book I’ve transformed?

That’s right, if there isn’t an intervention soon, my weed addiction could REALLY get out of control. To emphasize this threat, I triggered some worrisome smiles from the private security guy tasked with checking in the dangerous would-be criminal element to City Hall. If my weed-influenced art can bring delight to THAT demographic, there’s no telling HOW powerful the influence of demon weed might be!

Speaking of private security, the City Council member who I suspect may of conspired with a member of local media to set-up Rogers International, is back in the news complaining about Black Knight’s contract. Before getting to THAT news story, here’s the article that resulted from the set-up, and here’s the article speculating that I was WRONG about Rogers International.

With that context in mind, let’s look at a few excerpts from this article about the Black Knight contract:

Monday night, the Missoula City Council approved a contract with Black Knight Security for a third year. The one-year service agreement allows Black Knight to oversee all parks and public rights-of-way in the city.

It passed with a 9-2 vote, but some on Council spoke adamantly against the contract.

“We’ve basically created a private policing through a private company, and they can carry weapons, and they can tell Missoulians what to do, and they can enforce ordinances, and frankly, it should be a public entity that does that,” Missoula City Council member Daniel Carlino said.

The city approved a budget of $670,000 for fiscal year 2025 for Black Knight.

Hmmm, so the Council member who doesn’t like cops wants MORE of them? That’s funny. The response to this political posturing is more political posturing, but from the supposed “fiscal” side (emphasis mine):

According to the city and Missoula Police Chief Michael Colyer, it would cost the city $1,633,240 in 2025 if they were to do the same job as Black Knight, and $2,402,648 with overtime, if sworn in officers were used.

“I am happy with Black Knight and yeah, if we have the money to expand our police force it would be lovely to have them union members and pay the living wage, but unfortunately, those are not the budget abilities that we have at this point in time,” Missoula City Council member Stacey Anderson said.

Would Missoula have more money to “expand our police force” if we stopped using Tax Increment Financing like a political slush fund? Yes, but that’s not a part of Stacie’s agenda (look, I spelled her name right, NBC Montana!). Luckily, educating this retarded town about TIF is a part of MY agenda, and a recent article about TIF’s stupid step-child, TEDD, gives me hope that Missoula’s retardation isn’t permanent.

Kevin Davis, with the citizen-led Reserve Street Public Working Group, told NBC Montana residents like him have more questions than answers.

“Why a TEDD?” Davis asked. “Why a TEDD at this location, when others all around that vicinity have successfully developed their parcels privately without public subsidies?”

Davis also brought up the unintentional consequences of a new TEDD area on services like fire protection.

Throughout the life of the TEDD, Missoula’s Rural Fire District would only receive the taxable value of the bare land, even if new development comes online. This is despite the increase in service demand, which comes with new development.

Missoula Rural Fire District Chief Paul Finlay is concerned the fire district’s taxpayers will become the financial party responsible for the build-out of the area off North Reserve Street.

“Not only that, but it reduces the value of our voted mills, which the taxpayers voted on in 2017, which allowed us to hire an additional 13 staff,” Finlay said.

I hope this rational thinking and sensible anticipation of TEDD consequences grows beyond a few community members who have become hip to the schemes of our local cabal. I also hope I can find the strength to resist that nefarious demon weed so that my curiosity about the culture that spawned us can be stamped out for good.

If you appreciate how I’m struggling to make myself a better person, consider donating to Travis’ Impact Fund (TIF), though I’m not making any promises that your donation won’t be used to fund my insatiable drug habit.

That said, THANKS FOR READING!