Behold The Mighty Flames Of The Great American Dumpster Fire!

by Travis Mateer

Remember the story of the meth-smoking woman who killed one of the oldest living trees on the planet in Florida? If not, here’s a quick summary:

Sara Barnes used to like sitting in the hollowed-out center of “The Senator,” a 3,500-year-old cypress tree in Longwood’s Big Tree Park, after the park closed.

She enjoyed the breeze that blew through the top of the 125-foot-tall tree and travelled down its core.

On a night in January 2012, while Barnes and a friend smoked meth inside “The Senator,” the breeze was a bit much, so they started a fire. The fire grew and what was then the fifth-oldest tree in the world burned from the inside out like a bellowing chimney.

This was the story that popped into my head when I saw the headline about a homeless woman who torched a juniper bush at a local post office near the Johnson Street Shelter.

From the link:

On July 17, 2024, Missoula Police Department Officers were dispatched to the U.S. Post Office located at 1100 Kent Avenue for a report of a fire. Call details described a homeless female lit a bush on fire next to the building and the flames were almost as tall as the flagpole. An officer responded to the Post Office and contacted the complainant who is an employee.

The employee said she observed a female feeding paper towels into the fire. She said the female got up, walked away, looked at her, and cursed at her. She advised the flames were nearly as high as the light pole the bush was touching, which is approximately 25 feet tall. She described the female and said she was pushing a shopping cart toward Albertsons.

The woman was later found by police near the Johnston Street Shelter and arrested. Here’s a picture I took yesterday of the torched bush:

While Missoula police respond to homeless fires, Mineral County just had another Officer-involved shooting. Here’s the information released by the Mineral County Sheriff’s Office. My immediate question, is the CITY Detective our very own Detective Guy Baker?

While this MONTANA drama hints at a Big Sky dumpster fire burning, it takes a cognitively impaired president stepping down from a CAMPAIGN to signify the burning of a dumpster fire with NATIONAL proportions.

How is Biden able to run a country when he can’t run a campaign? I’m sure amphetamines have nothing to do with it. Maybe the Montana Senator who got our Missoula State Senator excited for change had something to do with it?

The reaction from Montana’s delegation includes our junior Senator, Steve Daines, making the obvious point that Democrats, including Senator Tester, will now have to contend with (emphasis mine):

“If Joe Biden is no longer capable of running for re-election, he is no longer capable of serving as president. Being president is the hardest job in the world, and I no longer have confidence that Joe Biden can effectively execute his duties as commander-in-chief.”

Daines cited concerns over national security as the reason for a formal call to Biden to resign. Tester’s office said that the president was elected by the American people and the senator respects the results of that 2020 election.

This weasel-worded response from Tester regarding Biden’s fitness to serve as PRESIDENT won’t serve him well, especially with one of his key demographics: Veterans.

How many months under a cognitively impaired Commander-in-Chief are those serving in the U.S. Military supposed to endure? Tester better have a better response than the one above on the campaign trail, and if that crafted response doesn’t play well, expect to hear Tester start calling on Biden to step down as PRESIDENT in the coming weeks.

The rising flames of the Great American Dumpster Fire coincide with the dog days of summer, named for the appearance of the Dog Star, Sirius.

The dog days or dog days of summer are the hot, sultry days of summer. They were historically the period following the heliacal rising of the star system Sirius (known colloquially as the “Dog Star”), which Hellenistic astrology connected with heat, drought, sudden thunderstorms, lethargy, fever, mad dogs, and bad luck. They are now taken to be the hottest, most uncomfortable part of summer in the Northern Hemisphere.

Stay hydrated out there, the dog days have just begun! And if you’re feeling generous, float a little currency my direction for Travis’ Impact Fund (TIF). Any little bit helps.

Thanks for reading!