Missoula Election Results

by Travis Mateer

Missoula’s 16 year incumbent, John Engen, will have 4 more years to continue implementing his vision for our expensive college rape town. I’m sure by the time Engen is done with us, everyone will have housing, a healthy jab and a personal race-trainer for all the whites to remind them of the wrongness inherent in the pigmentation of their pale skin.

The candidate who looks like he’s the same age as Engen’s 16 year tenure, Daniel Carlino, thwarted the hope of the establishment to swat him away like a pesky horsefly and won by about a hundred votes. I’m excited to see how this starry-eyed youngster will use his new influence to stop the climate from changing. Yee-haw!

Other results include our desperate government money-grubbers only getting half their cannabis tax loot. Very sad for grubbers, like Farmer Josh, who don’t have the tools to help the poor taxpayers, and he likes saying this over and over again.

“We’re overly property taxed because we have a lack of other tools to generate revenue by which can use to provide services. I feel like housing and property tax relief are broad enough that we could do lots of different things,” Commissioner Josh Slotnick said in July.

I’m glad the results turned out the way they did. Missoula deserves an alcoholic Mayor with no impulse control giving us his condescending schtick for another term. Homelessness has never been worse, the University is a woke dumpster fire and crime is rampant.

Zoom Town, baby.

About Travis Mateer

I'm an artist and citizen journalist living and writing in Montana. You can contact me here: willskink at yahoo dot com
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