The Snowpacalypse Finally Arrived

by William Skink

By now local readers have awoken to the white stuff. You might be tempted to call it “snow”, but it is not. It is a cold and condensing type of early season glue-sand I’ve never experienced. And there’s over a foot of it.

As the Halloween decorations blew mockingly in the wind, I went out to the garage before morning light to dust off the snowblower.

Shhh…do you hear that sound? Do you hear the conspicuous ABSENCE of snow-blowing?

I got about 4 feet before admitting defeat.

Shoveling this stuff is insane. Since it’s glue-sand, it doesn’t just come off the scoop-end of the shovel like one would expect of normal snow. It sticks. So to get it off, I slam the shovel on exposed walkway, covering it back up with snow. I am measuring progress in inches, not feet.

Did I mention it condenses? As I am writing this, the glue-sand is condensing, getting heavier. Our poor dog is covered in sticky snow globes of it. The cats are like FUCK THIS SHIT! I agree, wise felines.

This can be a metaphor if you let it. Are you sitting inside, waiting for government snowplows to open the streets for you, or are you putting your gear on and getting to work yourself? Will you help your neighbor, especially the elderly and infirm, so they don’t get fined by the city?

As for those obnoxious bloggers who feel the need to opine about everything, break time is over. Those kitty pathways aren’t going to shovel themselves!

About Travis Mateer

I'm an artist and citizen journalist living and writing in Montana. You can contact me here: willskink at yahoo dot com
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